Welcome to part two of Creating A Warrior Mindset! How have you been doing?
This week, we’re going to be thinking about how we feel about our bodies, as they are right now.
Click on the play button below to listen to your audio:
How does your current body make you feel?
Don’t edit your thoughts – write down exactly what comes into your head.
It could be frustrated, depressed, annoyed, unfair, okay, meh, not too bad, like some bits, nothing – whatever it is, write it down.
The reason we’re doing this is: approaching your body from the perspective of if we change how you feel about yourself, and how you think about yourself, your actual body will start to align with these new positive and empowering thoughts.
We are going to approach this with self-compassion and no judgement – this is a safe place for you.
Taking the thoughts and feelings you wrote down above, let’s consider where else you think these thoughts and feel these feelings in the rest of your life.
If you feel frustrated at what you perceive as the fat on your tummy, where else in your life do you feel frustrated?
If you feel stressed out by your inability to tone up your arms, despite your efforts, where else do you feel stressed out by your perceived lack of control over your circumstances?
If you feel depressed by your body, are you really happy in your life?
Try not to edit what you think, just write. Even if it’s hard, you’ve got this.
This is usually a mind-blower. It was for me the first time I did it. You are not alone.
Next question – taking the thoughts and feeling from above, when did you first start to feel them?
Example: I feel stressed out by the fact that I don’t feel strong. I feel stressed out when no one listens to me at work. I first felt like this when I was in a meeting 5 years ago and made a suggestion and people laughed.
I feel frustrated by my level of fitness. I feel frustrated by the lack of time I have for myself. I first began to feel like this when my husband started working longer hours and I had to take on more jobs at home.
By figuring out when you first felt like this, you may have found the root of these feelings.
Let’s go deeper into it: How did that situation make you feel?
We all experience things that are negative, you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel a certain way about things or that you did anything wrong.
Living underneath many negative thoughts and feelings tends to be one or both of two big beliefs – ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I don’t deserve it’.
Just sit with this for a moment – does that resonate with you at all? Don’t judge yourself either way.
What if you believed that you were good enough to have x and you did deserve to have x? Even if x feels scary or faaaaar away. What if you could believe truly and fully that you could have it?
How do we do this?
Feelings are often caused by thoughts. Turning back to the list of thoughts you wrote down last week, how have you been getting on with catching them?
Keep going – that is step one.
Step two is changing them into thoughts which work better for you and your goals.
If your thought was – ‘I’m too old to have toned arms’
Your new thought could be – ‘I am young and alive and full of vitality’.
‘I’ve always been fat’…. ‘I embrace the body I want.’
‘I’m not attractive’… ‘I am beautiful’
Two rules: they must be positive, i.e. talking about what you want to feel, not what you don’t want to feel. They must be in the present tense ‘I am’, not ‘I will be.’
I would recommend writing down a list of all of these new what we call affirmations, which your job is now to work on believing for yourself.
At first you may feel like you’re lying to yourself, you can’t see it now, so how can just a word make it true?! Suspend your doubt where you can and follow the next two steps:
- Repeat all your affirmations to yourself an absolute minimum of once a day. Out loud ideally. In the morning ideally. Put the list on your fridge. List them all in the notes on your phone and set a reminder.
- When you hear your negative thought, stop it in its tracks and repeat your new thought. This will take practice, like any new skill, so be patient with yourself. Repeat as many times as necessary.
The more you can hear and see this new thought, the better and the quicker it will take hold. I really like writing down my new thoughts on post it notes and sticking them everywhere. You might feel like you have to explain them to friends when they come over, but in doing so you can help them too.
In time, these new thoughts will start to become your beliefs about yourself. Then using these positive new beliefs, you will be able to take action which will get you closer to where you want to be.
The more exposure to positivity you can get, the more positive action you’ll be able to take.
Treat yourself with care.