WEEK 7

Hi Warrior!

Moving on from the psoas, this week, we are going to be exploring boundaries – what yours are, how you set them and how you enforce them:

This week, I’m going to begin with a video from someone else! Brene Brown has been a huge inspiration and teacher for me and I’d love for you to watch her TED Talk to set the tone. To do so, click the button below:

CLICK HERE TO WATCH YOUR FIRST VIDEO

So in order to grow and experience all that Brene talks about, we need to be able to effectively decide on, set and enforce our boundaries.

What do I have to say about boundaries? Press play below to watch.

So, let’s get to work on establishing what your boundaries are. Let’s take each part of our lives in turn, and you’ll need to pick between some of the categories as to what is relevant to you. I’m looking for you to write out answers to questions like:

How would I like people to treat me?
What hours am I available?
How much can I give in this regard?
How do I want to feel?
What is a dealbreaker for me?

Let’s take the following categories:

1. Mum & Dad
2.Siblings
3. Children
4. Partner (or partner to be, this works equally for someone not yet in your life)
5. Friends
6. Work/ clients
7. Yourself – how do I want to be treating myself?

Please feel free to add your own categories if you’d like to set some boundaries in another sphere that we haven’t mentioned.

Now that you’ve decided what you do and do not want, it’s pretty common to feel clearer, like a weight has been lifted. After all, if we don’t know ourselves how we want to be treated, it’s pretty hard for others to know?!

Some of these might feel new to you, so you’re going to need to remind yourself. Place your ‘boundaries’ sheet somewhere you will read it every day and commit to doing so once a day minimum, ideally in the morning. This will help set your headspace up for the day and the actions you may need to take to enforce your boundaries.

‘Enforce’ might seem like a strong word, but it’s really important that once you’ve set your boundaries, you start to embed them into your life, otherwise, what’s the point? Also, just because you’ve decided to set a new boundary, doesn’t mean that everybody else knows that.

So it’s your job to gently express the new boundary and update others’ understanding of what is okay with you. Let’s do a few examples:

You would like your kids to make their own breakfasts and you’ve always made them for them to date. You may want to sit them down the day before you expect this to start and explain to them what you would like and why it’s important to you and why it will benefit them. Demonstrate it with positivity for everyone, rather than a telling off type scenario!

You would like your clients to pay you on time, rather than letting invoices drag on. Depending on your set-up, you could send all of your clients (not just the naughty ones) an email to explain that from this date, all invoices will need to be settled within 14 days of issue. Should an invoice be paid late, it will be subject to a fee of x.

This brings us onto the next important bit – in order to be relevant, boundaries need to be enforced. It’s absolutely no good telling someone if they do x, y will happen. They do it anyway (maybe to test your resolve, or maybe a lesson from the universe) and then y doesn’t happen. How confusing! You feel frustrated and resentful still too!

So, even though it might be scary, when you decide on the action, you need to take it if the boundary is broken! Kids don’t make their breakfast, first day, they get something they consider very boring. Second day, you don’t make it at all – if that would work!

It’s up to you here to be strict with yourself and enforce your boundaries! It doesn’t have to be difficult or stressful, and if it ever feels that way, remind yourself that you are doing this for your long-term wellbeing.

Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? Basically, it means that whatever you give out, you receive back.

By creating more alignment in your own behaviour with what you want, there’s more chance the others will behave in the way you would like.

If you’d like to explore this further, here are two more videos from women I admire and have learned from, which I believe will help you too:

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MARIE FORLEO ON BOUNDARIES

CLICK HERE TO WATCH OPRAH ON BOUNDARIES

Do let us know how you get on this week in the Warriors group!

Love yourself.

Love,

Amy, Head Warrior